"I'm not watching Bill Barr in real time because disingenuous and willfully obtuse
is my dad blaming his spiritual abuse on me."
Melody Kay Young, July 28, 2020
My biggest sadness right now is knowing that people still don't get what they have done to our future generations. Their lies and bad ideas have consequences, and they have indeed caused division. A lot of us were just trying to live our lives, but instead of being free to do so, we've been abused by gaslighting lies and we are now being abused by images of ordinary people: Black Americans, women, vets and our teens, being thrown to the ground by unidentifiable agents using excessive force on Americans exercising their constitutional rights peacefully. What hope or future is there, in abuse? What goodness or greatness is there when people are punished for protesting injustice?
When Bill Barr had peaceful protesters and Christians handing out water at their church tear-gassed in Lafayette Square, that was an escalation of evil in America that is heading somewhere truly dangerous. I will not have anyone in my life who defends that action; I reject contact with them all because of their sin.
Yes, it is sin. Spiritual and emotional abuse is sin. Smearing ordinary people angry at injustice is sin. Tear gassing Christians handing out water to peaceful protesters, on the front porch of their church, is sin.
Sin is missing the mark, right, Christians? The abuse we are enduring in America, is the most serious of sins.
When Wade Burleson, an SBC pastor, tweeted Trump should be trending because of his speech at Mount Rushmore, he totally missed the mark in promoting an abusive administration. When my parents suggested I was in sin for asking them to stop contacting me, after years of being treated poorly because I rejected their control, that missed the mark. When Donald Trump smeared an elderly peace activist and led an internet mob to issue death threats against him, that missed the mark for goodness, let alone greatness.
All of this is SIN. Christians need to be forced to reckon with it. We Americans need to freely call a spade a spade. If sin is missing the mark, then what else is the Trump administration's and the Trumpists/#EvangelicalsForTrump's behavior, but sin?
I entitled my piece for today "A Proactive Approach" because I believe we need to make some proactive choices for truth telling, rather than be driven wherever the abusers lead US now. My "Where do we go from here?" question in this context, is, HOW do we go forward?
Above all, we need a proactive approach to refuting the Lies that led US where we find ourselves today. We need to fight this spiritual/ hybrid warfare battle from a position of strength. Here are some suggestions of what I recommend, and we need to count the cost and think about what is going to be the best thing for us, as individuals, to do. One thing we can and must avoid is being forced into anyone's mold. That is exactly where totalitarianism would push US, but we do not have to be anyone other than who we truly are. It starts with integrity in all things, and a clear conscience. It starts with telling the truth, confidently.
There are two routes we can take during this time, and neither are wrong, but one might be more right for you than the other. Some of us may find a hybrid of both routes works for them, as well. We need to take a moment to determine who we are and what we will do as we face up to an abusive regime and do the necessary work of refuting lies.
The first route is to embrace social media as a way to get the truth out to those who might not otherwise see it. This carries risk of ourselves being influenced or harassed, so we need to count the cost carefully about what we put out there and how we put ourselves out there. If we are going to talk about important things online, we need to be prepared for trolling, and we need to turn it to our advantage. Instead of reporting and blocking, without responding to lies, I recommend we retort and block, that is, challenge the abuse or bad ideas head on, block those who would deflect, including the initial commenter, and leave the truth up for the audience. Yes, trolls will claim it as a badge of honor when you block them, but the important thing is getting the good information out there so others can learn something.
The second route is to get off (or at least reduce our use of) the internet and be more vocal in your local community. Particularly if you are already affected in your local community by the abuse we are seeing at the top of our government, it’s worth digging in with safe people in community now. We need those networks of folks who know who we really are, who see our lives in context, and who can mutually support when the abuses are affecting our communities. We need to build those relationships that will go deep enough to weather this storm (and I am by no means referring to some Q crap.)
However, on that note, we need to address the cults in our life. We need to refuse to back down on what is objective truth and evidence-based fact. We have the freedom to refuse to permit abusers any ground in our home, family, life, loves, workplace...We need to use this time to decide when to stand up in relationships and when to leave relationships and how to “go grey rock” with those who would abuse US.
In my Twitter image, I list some strategies for survival and thrival, that can apply to any American citizen, though they do have a basis in my Christian faith. The main issue I’m seeing in American culture, that has made US vulnerable to abusers, is that a lot of Americans have had a bizarre tolerance for a level of abuse in their lives. “That’s just grandma,” “That’s just dad,” “Don’t rock the boat…” That kind of nonsense has to stop.
Name names, leaving room for folks to change. Give more grace to one another, for sure, but unapologetically remove oneself from abusers, and don’t be afraid to talk about things that have happened, honestly. If we did more of that in America, if we rejected disingenuous and coded language for a life of integrity and truth, I doubt we would have got this far down the slippery slide to fascist hell.
Whatever route we choose to go as individuals, or however we choose to address the lies that led US here in our personal spheres of influence, we can’t just take care of our mental health, take a bubble bath and stay positive. That's a potentially toxic and narcissistic choice, given the seriousness of the hour.
Adults have to stand up for freedom if we want to continue to have it.
We can do this by simply living free in our conversations, not coding them to suit sensitive abuse apologists. One of the biggest needs we have right now is of straight talk, just telling the truth as we see it. With grace, we can speak the truth in love, accept being fairly challenged by safe others, to grow in maturity and community together. Instead of being influenced by everything trying to control US, we need to be influencers.
Let US start living and speaking the truth in love, now, my fellow Americans.
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